Reciprical Relationships: How to Take Up More Space in Relationships

The idea of “taking up space” may feel a bit confusing. Imagine “manspreading” - that guy on BART who is sitting with his legs spread, even though the train is crowded, leaving those next to him squished to make themselves smaller. Ladies, I know you know.

That same idea can be true relationally.

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Externalizing the Problem

Beginning to externalize the problem is all about separating ourselves from the issue. Externalizing language asks questions of the problem like, in what context does that _____ usually occur? What types of things happen right before _____ takes over? What does _______ tell you to do? For example, rather than saying “I’m depressed,” you may say “Depression really got me today,” or “I really gave into Depression’s tricks last week.”

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Celebrating Mini-Milestones

Life traverses various seasons, some joyous and light, others dark and difficult. Regardless of the season you’re in now, it’s human nature to zoom in on the difficulties of a day or week and filter out the positive. It can feel natural to celebrate the big milestones in joyous season, but it takes more discipline to celebrate the little, everyday milestones that go easily unnoticed.

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