Reciprical Relationships: How to Take Up More Space in Relationships

The idea of “taking up space” may feel a bit confusing. Imagine “manspreading” - that guy on BART who is sitting with his legs spread, even though the train is crowded, leaving those next to him squished to make themselves smaller. Ladies, I know you know.

That same idea can be true relationally.

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Am I Codependent?

Codependency is a bit of a psychobabble buzz word - but what is codependency? Codependency describes a set of traits and features of unhealthy dependence on another for that one’s emotional well being. This term is often used within the realm of addiction, but codependency can surface in other relationships as well.

Ultimately, people who struggle with codependency will not feel okay unless others are okay. There is a blurred line between one’s own thoughts, emotions, and needs and the thoughts, emotions or needs of another person.

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How to Find a Therapist, Counselor or Psychologist in Dublin, CA

You want to check out therapy. You know it would be good for you. You’ve had friends rave about how helpful their therapist is and you’ve seen them change for the better. Naturally, you’re curious. And of course, you know there are a few things you could probably work on, too. But you have no idea how in the world to find a good therapist. Especially in a place like Dublin, Pleasanton and the greater Bay Area, where there are many therapists, how do you sort through to find the right fit for you?

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My Partner Cheated... What Do I Do?

You just found out your partner cheated. You never thought this could happen to you. To add salt to the wound, your go to confidant is now the source of your wounding. You feel crushed, angry, shocked, numb, and completely unsure of what to do next. Do these 5 things and take it day by day.

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What are Good Therapeutic Disclosure Questions?

When you discover your partner’s sex or love addiction, you want to want to know everything. This usually yields conversations late into the night, rehashing the past in an effort to seek safety and make sense of the past. I like to call these conversations drive-by disclosure. It is profoundly disorienting to doubt your own history. Enter the formal therapeutic disclosure process, aimed at restoring dignity and providing information so you can make informed decisions about your future. (You can read more about that process here)

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Boundaries for Beginners

Boundaries. A popular therapy & self-care buzz word that’s thrown around all the time. Often boundaries are presented with the metaphor of a fence separating your yards from your neighbors. You are responsible to water your own garden & take care of what’s in your yard, regardless of what’s going on in your neighbors’ side. That’s lovely, but what does that mean?

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Co-Addiction vs. Trauma Informed Treatment for Betrayed Partners

In the early days of sex addiction treatment, clinicians took a copy + paste approach from successful substance abuse treatment protocols and applied it to sex addiction treatment. While some of this was (and remains) helpful for treating addiction, it unfortunately misunderstood and ultimately mistreated the partners in the process. This copy + paste approach left treatment addict-centric while looking to the partner and family for support for treatment rather than understanding the family needs their own support too. It also carried the co-addict or codependent label over to the betrayed partner.

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