Betrayed Partners of Sex Addicts
Discovering your partner’s deceit and sexual betrayal feels earth shattering. As you learn about the infidelity or addiction, you may be questioning your entire relationship and memories you have held dear. It may feel as if you don’t know the person sleeping next to you. Though you didn’t ask for this pain nor did you do anything to cause it, it is now your responsibility to seek healing for yourself. Healing from the trauma of your partner’s sex addiction is possible one step at a time. Together we can work to pick up the pieces. Because betrayed partners exhibit many symptoms of trauma, I use a trauma informed approach based on the Multidimensional Trauma Model to work through the betrayal, pain, and next steps toward freedom.
I facilitate a weekly psychotherapy group for betrayed partners. Group support is a powerful asset to your healing journey. Contact me for more information.
In addition to individual & group therapy, I co-facilitate a monthly one day intensive called Road to Restoration. This one-day workshop is designed to provide emotional support and psychoeducation to partners/spouses of sex addicts. The workshop is suitable for partners coping with a recent discovery, as well as for those farther along in the process of healing and recovery. Participation in this one-day workshop is the equivalent of 8-12 weeks of individual psychotherapy. Each participant will receive a customized aftercare plan upon discharge from the program. Topics include: Partner Trauma, Safety & Self Care Plans, 9 Double-Binds Unique to Partners, Cultivating Support, Managing Triggers, Boundaries 101 (Setting & Keeping!), Sex Addiction FAQ, Therapeutic Disclosure
Psychoeducation on sex addiction
Finding your voice
Conjoint couples counseling
Healing from betrayal
Research indicates that couples who achieve sustainable, long-lasting recovery have bother partners engaged in individual therapy, group therapy, 12-step groups, and are doing recovery literature reading. Here are a few resources that I have found to be helpful:
Moving Beyond Betrayal: 5 Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts by Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW, CSAT
Mending A Shattered Heart by Stephanie Carnes, PhD
Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts by Stephanie Carnes
Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Sheri Keffer and Barbara Steffens
Worthy of Her Trust: What you Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back by Stephen Arterburn & Jason Martinkus