All the Trophies

All the Trophies

When I was in the bleary eyed state of being a brand new mom, I was convinced I would never successfully leave the house before 10am ever again. As I dove into this ever changing rhythm (and all the equipment that goes with it), I began offering myself mental trophies for any small, personal successes. Got somewhere within 20 minutes of the start time? Trophy! Showered? Trophy! Left the house? Trophy! Made it through a rough day? All the trophies!

Read More

Why Are Boundaries so Hard For Me?

Why Are Boundaries so Hard For Me?

Many people I work with have a hard time understanding and implementing boundaries. Boundaries are a learned skill. It takes time, commitment, and some emotional risks to realize the world won’t swallow you whole when you say no, set limits, or choose to you take care of yourself. The resistance of implementing boundaries is typically rooted in messages we’ve internalized throughout our life. If you struggle with boundaries, see if you identify with the boundary hurdles below.

Read More

Sh*tty First Draft

I recently had a scuffle with a friend that left me spinning. I felt consumed by it, it seemed every waking moment I was rehashing and replaying our conversation, trying to make sense of our argument. The more I tried to shake it, the more I found myself thinking about it. I became more and more anxious, unsure, and critical of myself.  I felt a pull to smooth it over. Unconsciously, I went to an old, familiar story that my worth is dependent on whether people are pleased with me. My anxiety was oozing out of my shame exposed behind my likable, charming armor. In her research on vulnerability & shame, Brene Brown calls this reaction “The Shitty First Draft”. We all have a shitty first draft. It’s our knee-jerk, go-to story we tell ourselves when we feel vulnerable, shame, or fear.  So how do we break the cycle?

Read More